Renaissance – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat and Think With Your Taste Buds – Desserts
‘My marriage had just fallen apart. It wasn’t like I didn’t see it coming. So why was I in complete and utter shock? The warning signs had been blasting out at me in fanfare for the past…oooooh, six years, or so? Why the hell didn’t I hear them. What was wrong with me that I ignored it all for so long? It was a hell of a wake-up call, discovering my fifty-four year old husband having cyber-sex with a twenty-four year old girl he’d met online. I suppose I should be grateful to her in a way. She gave me the shove I needed to finally take action and end a marriage that had been dead in the water practically from day one, if I’m honest. But I hadn’t expected the tirade of emotions that would come when I finally discovered that it was him, and not me, who had gone astray. Even until the very end, I had always (stupidly) believed he really did love me. OK, I know, he had a funny way of showing it. It’s one thing to make a declaration (or in his case, millions of declarations) of love. It’s quite another to actually mean what you say and follow your words with honest and genuine actions.
Sarah Tate found herself in a position that so many other women (and some men) find themselves in and struggle to survive through. Some make it and some fail. Sarah was one of the lucky ones who simply wouldn’t give up. What is Sarah’s problem? She is ending her marriage to the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. But to her surprise, she will not only have the responsibility to support and care for their 3 children but she will also be left with bills, taxes and commitments that he acquired by using her name. So the struggle begins and so do the side-effects.
In her book Web of Lies – My Life with a Narcissist, Sarah Tate opens her life to the world as she goes through an emotional roller-coaster with her husband Bill. She becomes aware that he really isn’t the person she met, fell in love and started a family with. In Renaissance she takes us, in detail, through the two year struggle to keep her own sanity as well as create some sort of normalcy within the lives of her three children. A lot of this even takes place while still in the marital home with the husband living in the basement. She takes you through the trials experienced as she breaks free from the toxic relationship that has threatened so many times to take her under. The problems experienced while trying to explain to her two oldest daughters as to why their daddy isn’t in the home and why he doesn’t bother to visit. She explains the importance of support not only through family but through friends and even therapy. She takes us through the 5 steps to recovery – Euphoria, Disquiet, Denial, Despair and finally Release.
In today’s time, the divorce stats are tremendously high and getting higher every day. As I read Renaissance, I found myself relating to so many of Sarah’s problems and feelings of helplessness. Whether you are or were married to a narcissist or not, I feel that just about anyone, male or female, can find something in common with Sarah and hopefully through reading Renaissance you will be able to see that you are or were not alone in your struggle and that her strength will help you to make the right choices for your own situation.
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