The Fashion Police – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat
‘This was going to be a piece of cake. I would just sneak around, posing as an inconspicuous shopper, and snap a few pictures of Clark stacking shelves. Why had I been so worried about this job? It was ridiculously easy. I heaved through the horde of shoppers, scanned the crowd for signs of any shelf-stocking activity. There was nothing going on in the fruit and veggies aisle, so I picked up a bag of bananas and wandered off in search of Clark. The bakery section was quiet and boring, except for the yummy smell of freshly baked bread. Ditto for the condiments aisle, the dairy isle, and the cereal aisle. Maybe there was a special time of day when all the shelf-stockers were let out in a frenzy, and I’d missed it. I stood in front of the toiletries with the idea that if I stood there long enough, Clark would come to me. I could wait until closing time if need be, no problem. As it turned out, I lasted about ten minutes. I was reading the directions on a box of teeth-whitening strips when I heard a rustling sound coming from my bag of bananas. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bananas begin to move. Wait a sec, bananas don’t move. I stared at the bag as my hands shook. Nope, the bananas weren’t moving at all. It was a ginormous tarantula inside the bag that was moving, tapping on the plastic with its hairy foot. I froze, hardly daring to breath. Omigod! Spider! In my mental world, I was screaming my head off, but in the real world, I think my mouth was just wide open with no sound coming out. I threw the bag on the floor and rocketed out to the parking lot faster than the speed of light, probably warp factor ten at least…Paul Clark and Brad would just have to wait.
Amber Fox is a former Detective Sergeant who was given the choice by Detective Chief Inspector Janice Skipper to either resign or be “resigned.” This all took place after Amber accidently shot Janice in the rear while both were on the firing range one day. Janice said it was intentional, Amber said it was an accident. Either way, Amber resigned and went to work for her former fiancé Brad who was owner of Hi-Tec Insurance. Brad hired Amber to do check out some of the insurance claims he had received by a few clients that weren’t exactly reputable. One claim was by Paul Clark who insisted that he had hurt his back and could no longer work. That’s when Amber discovered him working as a stocker at the local grocery store. Through her surveillance she also discovered that she probably wouldn’t be buying bananas from this store in the future. Added to her work load was the job of planting “bugs” hidden in pens throughout the offices of fashion designer Umberto Fandango. This job turned out to be a bummer too when it was discovered that the pens weren’t working correctly. And Amber’s decision to go back to the offices to replace the pens, she discovers that Fandango is missing and due to the amount of blood at the scene, he just might possibly be dead.
The Fashion Police is one of the funniest murder mysteries I’ve ever read. Amber isn’t a klutz but she sure finds herself in some really dangerous but funny situations. Amber finds her dad, recently retired from the police force, dressed in women’s clothes. His former drug sniffing police dog has some really strange commands. And when she runs into a couple of goons named Sally and Tracy, she inflicts problems on them that will have your laughing out loud. But I didn’t tell you the best part. Her former ex Brad and her policeman boyfriend Romeo are both in love with her and want her for themselves. Amber has decided that she actually loves both and just in case one doesn’t work out she might better hang onto both. Oh yeah, Janice has made it known that she will stop at nothing to wreak havoc on Amber’s life and see that she loses everything, especially Romeo in the process.
So, if you like a good laugh along with your murder, The Fashion Police is a book you don’t want to miss out on.
Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com