To Karen however this was not just another date with her devil’s toy as she would be using it for the first time after having made love with her husband, adding to her excitement as she opened the secret compartment. This being after having gone through the same routine which included; first removing what ever night gown she was wearing; her being one to prefer the act in total nudity, where perhaps stockings might be left on. To any who might observe her however in all this, it might seem odd what an elaborate ceremony hers really was as she would remove her night gown with the most delicacy and place it on her toilet. All with the care of even going to the fatigue of folding what ever she took off with as much heed as those which one purchased at a store.
Karen to a certain extent even gave the appearance of one who in fact was not alone almost as if she were with a lover who she wished to impress with her grace, though in fact she secretly dreamed of somebody seeing her in her fantasy world much like when she was a young girl who danced in front of her mirror in the hope of someday being able to do it front of more people in a party and not just in her bedroom.
On this occasion however she was more motivated then usual; as if some new blood had been brought to her by having just made love and this she felt as she removed her little lover from the blanket she kept him wrapped up in. This the blanket she placed on the floor so she might lie on as her lover, performed its battery operated magic on not only those areas within her body with the exception being her mouth but her breast. Those areoles she would expose to the swirling head of this instrument which even surpassed the sensation of any tongue, hers or that of another.
It in all truth was not a fantasy world she stepped in to but the past, which was decorated with so many gems executed by her and her husband; who at one point had been such a sexual volcano, that it was not to be believed how often and when it would erupt. How these images would come back so vividly of her and Thomas making love in the opera house, one day in their balcony, on that day when they were left alone. She on all fours in front of his chair; who stood up ever slightly as to perform the maneuver while those around in the next balcony which was but 5 yards away simply did not notice or what if they did? It would not have stopped Thomas from having his wife, who in her doggie like position to him had raised her behind so he might enter her. How motivated this made them, that they could perform such acts in public and leave care to the devil that they might be discovered.
Many were the sexual experiences which Karen relived with her magic toy however it was this one she cherished the most in the file that was her mind. Sometimes it being to the point that she enjoyed them more when reliving them in her mind then she had when they were occurring in real life. This perhaps being the case that it was after many years that she understood with her passion what it was that made them so special in the first place. They were not just individual experiences but a time in her life which was surely never to return as we can never make the past come back exactly as it was which makes it wise not even to attempt to do so; for it will never be precisely the same.
How that time was special, she could appreciate only then for when it was she was too occupied living those days; when it was advisable for her never to wear panties, specially when theirs was to go to a public place while always keeping her diaphragm in place as a second child was not what either wanted. How great it felt as she placed her devil’s toy inside her lustful rose, already moist for its entrance as she lay on her back, right in the center of her bathroom where she had placed the very same blanket she had been using since her encounters of this kind started.
Once started it was her past that took over her present, stronger then when it had been in impact; as it was with knowledge that it should live that she visualized it in her mind, in what was her act that included her devil’s toy; not being denied not only her rose but her rear entrance. Karen joking to herself that this part of her body would be faithful and only for her devil’s toy.
Thomas for his part was overly agitated that night and though entrance in to the black of night came easy given his physical effort it was also with facility that he woke up, not knowing where he was but with the instinct that pushed him to find his beloved Karen. It was with some despair that he turned over to feel with his arm her body; only to find he was the only one in their bed. It however was not the first time, he had known Karen not to be with him but this was an exceptional night in many ways, given he had made love to his wife. It making him more sensitive to all around, specially her absence which on any other night would have made him merely turn back to his sleeping position. It however was his added force and the fact that his ears; for the first time detected loud moaning, of the kind that gave no room for doubt that it must be lust which was causing it. This being like the smoke many believe to be an indication of fire.
Thomas, in a need that approached longing stood up and like a man hypnotized followed the noise to the source which was Karen’s bathroom and the light from under the door. The moaning grew louder as in fact she had forgotten herself, which lead to her loosing calculation as to how strongly she released her voice, even in this house where it was hard to hear noises from other rooms. The fact was that she had induced herself to go beyond moaning or groaning of any kind, to what could be called light screams which woke Thomas completely out of his slumber; to fear as to what he might find when he opened the door which he would do so by force if needed. Could it really be that his wife had taken to what he considered the crude act of masturbation?
Thomas, now feeling fully awake stood in front of the door, in anger ready to kick down the door as it was now that he felt that not only had he been raped; as in fact he had not wanted to have sex with his wife in the way they had but that he had been used for inspiration for the crude act she was more then likely performing. Naturally there was a tinkle of excitement in him apart from need for certainty that lend itself to him placing his ear against the door, with the feeling of loss that there was no keyhole on that door that would allow him to see in.
The sounds were sex manufactured, this there was no doubt in his mind yet he was paralyzed in all his actions that so much wanted to put a stop to her activities, in a rage of jealousy; as if he were a husband who were being cheated on. His mind interpreted it as worse; for in a way he could not obtain similar results of ecstasy from his wife or at least not anymore and that night had made it all too clear in a very painful way that gone forever were those days in which he could bring cries of lust to his wife. Recalling him of when she had scratched and bite, almost like a cat wanting to get away from the danger it so much desired. He was no longer that man, in her life like he had once been and all her moans were as if cruelly mocking him or at least to his ear that those days when he could almost make her beg for a break from his pounding in her rose had ended. This was torture to the pride of one who had been hailed as one who at his age could satisfy even one who was so much younger then himself; it being all these illusions still held by him to be terminated at that moment.
This was humiliation, to himself like he had not known for the facts with his interruption where that his wife had forced him to make love to her and then had gone to masturbate; as if he could not bring her to orgasm, which in fact had been the case and she need to complete it on her own. It was with furry like he had never known that he opened the door which Karen had not even bothered to lock, like a man striking back at those who had been beating him.
It was not that he did not know what to expect but the sight of seeing Karen on her stomach with a vibrator in her hand which she was forcing in to her anus; almost caused him to have heart attack. How could it be to have come to this was something he could barely grasp; as if he felt a nightmare had taken over his visions which made him doubt the reports he was getting from his eyes.
Karen, in all truth was not less shocked that hers had been discovered though given how her plastic lover was entering her; it was but a few seconds till she started to confront not only her own shame but the anger of her husband, whom she could tell was infuriated, and though he had never struck her seemed about to.
In all truth Karen was frightened of her husband on that occasion much like whenever she was a child and got caught by her father doing something she had been told she should not. In a way it was odd as Karen was in better shape then her husband with fighting abilities that went beyond his, all of which giving her every advantage should it come to confrontation of force. This not excluding the fact that she also possessed greater physical strength, which she had already displayed that evening when she managed to pin her husband down to the bed, despite his efforts to get up which she had countered with superior power from her arms then his whole body.
It was despite these factors that Karen feared her husband, who caught her in this most compromising position which she could not explain as being other then what it was, for in her case it could truly be said had been caught red handed. The realization made her get to her feet and basically wait for her husband to react, to see what she should do and yet as she stood up she managed to stand in front of her husband like a believer standing in front of God for her castigation to a sin. Karen even shrugged her shoulders as she felt more humbled then her life had allowed her to know till that point, standing there in the nude with all of her lovely body exposed yet her husband could only see the vibrator which she had put on top of the sink as if a burglar who puts down his gun in front of the police.
Thomas, seeing Karen’s fear and still angry took the vibrator without saying a word and smashed it with all his strength in to the bath tab as if it were the cause of all the evil in the world or at least in his marriage, for to him a man who like a child had been wiped this was the cause of his pains. This toy of the devil was evil personified in all its forms which he had just rid the world of and as he had breathed a sigh of relieve; his was the sensation almost like one who had saved his wife from a rapist, for to his mind it had been this instrument which had been forcing his wife and not the way it had been earnest.
This act of destruction in many ways had calmed him but not to the point that he felt his wife did not deserve a good lashing at for her almost acts of treasury to his manhood which had been made to suffer. Karen in a way felt hers, increase as the fear over the shame had slightly subsided and to a certain extent had turn in to anger; as this item was hers and though it was not one which held any emotional value it still had not been for her husband to destroy even if it was the cause of his jealousy.
Thomas, had calmed down to the point where only his strong disapproval remained yet in a way he was not able to control himself since anger was still with his tone, as he said “You fucking bitch! What the fuck you think you’re doing? No, don’t say anything first you practically well force me to have sex with you and then you masturbate, what am I not enough for you that you need those vibrators, well I don’t wanna hear about it anymore, you disgust me”.
Karen upon hearing his words realized in a strange way that she had nothing to be ashamed of as she calmly much to even her own shock took her nightgown off the floor and put it on as she said almost with nerve racking tempo of voice which perhaps even set her husband back to furry as she did not by any means sound as if hers was repent but quite the contrary. “I was masturbating with a vibrator, there I said it I am not ashamed of it and maybe no, I am proud of it, I wanted sexual satisfaction and I used a machine to do it, what have I done that is wrong”? Have I cheated on you with another man, this I have not (taking on an air of defiance), ok I accepted when I married you that you were older and would not be able to satisfy me past a certain age but what have I done for you to come in her and insult me apart from destroying what belongs to me?” Karen spoke with an air of boldness as if one who spoke with ice cold logic for she owned her husband as much of an apology as if he had been caught in the same act, for did this not only mean that she in that case would have been guilty of not being able to be a full wife, to fulfill her husband’s desires.
Thomas was more amazed now with his wife to the point of being afraid of her, she had not only managed to overcome the shame but had turned it in to her advantage, almost implying it was his fault, all of which lead to his even further ill temper though this time, it was different. She was not repentant which was how a wife should be or at least such had he been taught, what was left for him? His wife had defied him. She was standing proudly in front of him that she had obtained sexual satisfaction from a source which did not include him and was not sorry, if anything was flaunting it in front of him, almost as if she expected him to do something about it.
Of course in a way there was nothing he could do, since his was not one fight for a woman, for her joy, for everything before him had told him it was a woman’s duty to wait for her male partner to be had and never be the one to take. All with the logic that should it not come she be the one to wait in patience and never ever go it alone or insist as she should wait till her husband felt it was the right time; which if never arrived upon she should accept her lot in life gracefully. This precise manner dictating she never take a lover or use one of plastic; for it was what changed the rules of nature.
Thomas was seeing something he hated but could not argue against since he was one who did not have the mental size that could go beyond what all his life had been told to him; not only by his parents but religion. This was what he had been taught, and had even come to accept blindly; never even thinking that perhaps other possibilities were to be had as how could there be? This was his limitation of being one who could not question what had been taught to him from infancy; limiting from seeing a new light which was that women also wanted sexual fantasy in their lives; which went beyond that of pleasing their male mates to wanting their own satisfaction, which in an unintentional way had been made all to obvious to him that he could no longer supply her with.
Thomas wanted to get at his wife but how could he? She did not feel shame so it was then that his humor got the better part of the control of his body as his wife stood near him, whom he smacked as hard as he could in the face as he walked away with the phrase “I feel sorry for you, and almost wish you could find a lover”. She had gotten what she deserved; this he was sure of and it was this precise slapping coupled with his words which would make her see the right way or at least so he thought as he walked out triumphantly back to his room. It being without saying another word to his wife, who perhaps could have blocked his hand had she had reason to suspect it was coming.
It was not so much the pain of the physical kind but that her husband had struck her for the first time that made her see what her move should be specially given that theirs would more then likely never be sex, as she could see that he was no longer able or even willing to. She saw a look about him that made her see that she was disgusting to him, as if she had been to bed with a group of men, who had not only had her but replied her service in kind with currency.
There are moments that make people change or perhaps not so much transform but bring out aspects of their personalities that were always there yet for reasons of circumstance of life were kept buried deep within. It could be believed that these emotions or strengths are in need of that element to make them come out to the surface and take over the personality of the one in question. This had been that precise element which had been inflicted upon Karen, as if this slap and words had brought her out of what ever had been about her that had not let her see what her life was becoming.
Karen had been slapped and as she stood in her bathroom with her gown on looking at the broken pieces of what was now her plastic toy, she came to the conclusion that this display by her husband’s was not her defeat but his. It had been he who had not been able to deal with her wanting what he could no longer provide not her, this was all so clear to her as she felt her cheek which had been battered and gazed at the broken pieces of her vibrator which she started to pick up and place on the sink. Arguments of logic had not come to mind as to persuade her to his way of reasoning, all of which requiring the brute force he no longer had as he had barely been able to break the vibrator in two let alone smash it in to the tiny pieces he would have probably desired.
Karen was not a new person, this was for sure yet in all she did sense a presence in her that had rarely in her life come out and that being the one that would not be apologizing to her husband like she once had for having to some degree been coquette with a business partner of his in a most innocent way. That part of Karen was to be kept submerged from now on; only present to be a reminder of what she should never allow herself to do. Her actions going to those that saw her almost cry and beg her husband to forgive her for having said more then a kind word to someone he did not like in conversation which though friendly did not include any sexual undertones of any kind.
Karen would continue with her life without saying she was sorry though changes would came from this and the first one to no longer share a bed with her husband as what purpose would their be in that other then keeping up appearances for his sake; which no longer concerned her. She would move to her daughter’s room and take up that extra bed, she had had installed in for when ever her daughter had over night guest. As it would be this the indication to her husband that she did not need to share his bed, for she could sleep on her own. It would be a move that would not even come with an explanation; as she should simply take to sleeping in another bed.
Naturally in all this Kasiutrella was bound to ask why she and her mother would be sharing the same room together or moreover why she would no longer be sleeping with her father? Kasiutrella was in the stage of life known as puberty where it would not be just any answer to convince her, not that Karen really had to; as she could say that matter was none of her affair which in fact was what Karen herself felt, given this in fact was something only between her and her husband.
This would be a way to deal with Kasiutrella’s curiosity though not for long and perhaps not even such a good temporary solution since she might be staying in her room indefinitely or at least till she set up another room in the house for herself. Karen then came to the conclusion that the best way to solve this issue before it took on the proportions of a problem would be to tell Kasiutrella that she could not sleep next to her father; giving his loud snoring which in fact had been the case on some nights. Karen would argue that it had gone out of control to the point where it kept waking her up several times a night.
Karen of course could sleep on the couch or set up another room but in a way it was using this as an excuse to be nearer to her daughter, almost as if wanting to share in her youth which could be contagious on to her, for she would start feeling the spirit of earlier years even if almost by proxy through her own daughter. How it would be near Kasiutrella? To see her daughter rise every morning with the enthusiasm of a teenager who wants so much to discover and learn while making her way in the world was what she wanted to feel and though she knew full well she could not relive her teen years, not even through Kasiutrella; she could at least get nostalgic about them and perhaps bring back those sentiments.
It was decided, Karen would be sleeping in Kasiutrella’s bedroom in the spare bed, which in a way made her feel as if they were sister’s sharing the same room and to a certain extent why could it not have been as such given Thomas was in fact old enough to be father to both these ladies.
Regarding the vibrator, Karen for a brief moment considered mending it or even going out and getting a new one but as she looked at it and all it had done for her in the last years, with some memories being found she suddenly looked upon it as being redundant in her life. Almost like a child who suddenly realizes she has out grown a toy; for other forms of entertainment would be coming about, though this she knew not in what form they would do so. Karen however much to her own surprise and in some strange way no longer felt connected with her plastic lover, as if she knew someone or something that would take its place in the not so distant future but really did not connect it with anything or anybody in particular. Only with the idea that it had done its part to get her where she now stood. For time had come for her to bid it adio, given it had completed its purpose.
Karen once having gone to the kitchen where she put her vibrator to rest in the trash, walked upstairs to her daughter’s bedroom with a sense of laughter at herself, feeling in a way like she had when at a much earlier age she had been forced to burry her hamster whose numbered years had gone beyond what nature had intended it to last. Karen would have to sneak in to her daughter’s bedroom, for in all truth she was not in any mood to explain her choice of bed or at least not at that particular time of night or moment as she was heavy with longing to lay down and sleep.
Kasiutrella for the most part was a light sleeper, so she would have to be quit as she snuck in to the spare bed in her room, for if she should awake then it might come to be that she might notice something yet in all this Karen was not shaken in any way. Tears had not been shed and her nerves were in no means altered beyond that of a person who would be sleeping in another bed from her husband.
Karen entered the room, silently and as she did there was just enough light from outside as to allow her to see where the extra bed was, not that she was so much in need of it since she had been in this room enough times to find anything her wish lead her to. It even for a brief moment in her imagination struck her that some night, Kasiutrella would be sneaking in one of her boyfriends so they might engage in acts which she would prefer her not to see but that was for a later time, yet it did bring a thought to her mind that this time’s arrival would be inevitable.
Karen much to her own amusement as she tip toed across the large room which had been designated to her daughter, always in the hope of not tripping over anything remembered the time, so many decades ago when first boyfriend had come in to her room. All to the effect of introducing herself to the acts of sexuality, she had so often heard off yet had not experienced from the body of another. Karen even caught her mind reliving those moments and the excitement it was to get in to the bed with the one who she had chosen as he had her. All the thoughts which went through her mind were once again present as they had been on those several nights on which she and her first love, Tom Mulroney had coordinated their physical activities in her bed to the tune of her moaning as he let her feel his presence in so many ways as to cause her to loose control of her sounds that might at any minute bring in her parents. The thrill had been there in so many ideas that ranged from not only the fear of being caught but the youth of her firm body which her hands had not felt in so long, while her admirer though ten years older then herself; 16 at the time was not less lovely to the touch.
It was a time never to return to her yet she treasured those moments from her past; the images of which she played in her mind much like one doing the same with a film one has seen several times but cant seem to get enough of. Karen however in a way was back in those times and sensed would be doing so even deeper, regardless of the fact that it would never be the same, for it was like the apple which once eaten would never come back even if we ate another one. Nothing would ever make her react the same way again yet it would be a repetition in a way with her emotions interpreting in a diverse manner that which could be perhaps equally delightful, perhaps even more so then it had been originally given she would treasure its return even more because she was no longer the same. She after all was a full grown, mature woman who knew what it was she should appreciate and look for while herself at a younger age would have not seen what was of value in what she had. Kasiutrella, whom she saw in sleep, in a way represented herself at that age and it in a strange way seemed like she was seeing herself in her daughter; so many years before whom she now hoped to guide, not so much even like a daughter but the way she would have done with herself if she could but enter a time machine and go back to those days. This however being the case for by being with her daughter and sharing this time it was as if she were advising herself at that age with the experience the last 2 score had brought her.
Karen was tired yet it was not so much physical or even being sleepy but the kind of mental fatigue which indicated it would be best not to do other then put one self out for the night, till the light of morrow brought all back to some focus and peace. It being these two which would be most needed to solved the situation which had arisen in her marriage though in reality, it had not been what could be described as a large quarrel, even if it would be likely she would no longer be sharing a bed with her husband or at least not any time soon.
Karen had managed to get in bed apparently without waking up her daughter from the sleep she would need for the activities of the following day, getting under the cover which given the time of year was limited to a sheet and the cover on the bed which she did not remove. Karen was now in bed awaiting for that moment which would transport her mind in to the other world of not being aware of what went around her or at least till the time arrived to go about the business of life. How nice it would feel to be away as she referred to it, from what had taken place, at least so her mind might focus without the stress of the moment that had seen her last fragment of sexual contact disappear along with the tranquility her marriage had known for so long.
Karen now lay in bed, and as she did she could ravish in the feel of the smoothness to be encountered in the sheet’s comfort which they brought to her skin; so much in need of what be soothing, this would be like a balms to put her body as well as mind to rest, as she lay in bed not far from what was sure to be slumber. Karen, was also relieved she had not taken Kasiutrella out of the protective other side, of not being aware of what transpired and as she lay in bed she felt as if she had gotten away with her plan of stealth. It was if transported back in time to when hers were the ones of the naughty daughter deceiving her mother. This being the case though the roles had been changed by time where it was her who had become the parent, whilst her daughter had taken on the persona she had been so many decades ago, though for brief spurs it was if she were a sister.
The night would have come to an end then as Karen lay in bed falling deeper in to the next phase of rest. All much like the curtain bringing an end to an act in a play yet it was not to be on that night as Kasiutrella with a tone of voice that was loud; not so much in it’s volume but alarm shook Karen out of the daze she was already half way in to.
“Mother are you alright? Did father hit you? I heard a noise, is everything ok? I was about to call the police!” Kasiutrella spoke, not as a frightened child as she might have expected or one who had been taken out of a sudden sleep but as one who had been biding her time. As if she knew all along not only what needed to be said but at what point it would be wisest to do so. To Karen at that moment it even gave the impression that she was back in her teens returning home from a date which had perhaps not gone all that well to the questions of her mother who showed restrain in her worry which she demonstrated in her well chosen questions.
It was not so much that Karen felt an obligation to reply, as when she had been living under her mother’s roof but there was something of almost authority in her daughter’s voice which to some degree freighted her as much as what had happened. Kasiutrella, was not being demanding in any way in her tone but there was a logic about her that made her feel almost as if hers would be unreasonable not to answer. Karen at that moment sensing that her daughter had grown in a mental way that on many accounts put her on a par, as if sisters they were.
“Kasiutrella” Karen started trying to sound calm as both lay in the dark still, neither having visual contact which each other as both still lay under the covers with the light off, which in a way made theirs feel like a conversation on the net. “You’re father and I just had an argument, that is all and he smashed something that is all” Karen spoke trying to let out as little detail as possible that would calm her daughter’s longing for knowledge while not declaring more then she was ready to.
Kasiutrella then much to Karen’s surprise got out from under her sheets and turned on the light as she sat up on her bed, this in an attempt to see what appearance her mother gave and said “I heard somebody get slapped, so just I wanna know if it was you or him?” with a tone that took on stern parts. Karen perhaps on another night with more harshness left in her would have ruled this as not being her daughter’s concern which she would have made all too clear in her reply however it being not a night of sorts simply replied “That is not for you to worry about, yes somebody got slapped but we are both ok, as that is all it was and if you want to see, that I am fine here (sitting up, so Kasiutrella could see her face was alright though a mark was not visible) see for yourself.
Kasiutrella, had not really lied as she had not said who had been slapped but however was worried a bruise would give the appearance that hers was worse then it really had been, and as she sat up on the bed waiting for her daughter to pass on her mind’s thought, she more then ever felt as if she were justifying herself to her daughter; who at any minute she could order to desist. This perhaps what a few years sooner she would have resorted to yet it was as if a new day in their relationship; which would make it almost inappropriate for her to treat her daughter as a child, whose care was not of insignificance.
Karen once satisfied, her daughter had not seen anything out of place on her face, though this she knew not from her own eyes, as she could not see herself but through the reaction of her daughter who demonstrated not that she had been battered, took on a calm which allowed her to retort. “See, I am fine and your father is fine, so please forget about who hit who since apparently everything is ok” were Karen word’s as if trying to put the whole issue behind them without having to go in to more details which would have lead to more queries from her daughter, who at times became as if bolder in her questioning of her mother.
Kasiutrella seemed calmed by the sight of her mother neither being bruised or in tears, much to the relaxation of Karen, who if all reality be laid upon view would have proffered for this discussion not to take place and to give an explanation that it had been her father’s snoring which had lead to her taking up the bed in her room. It was in a way with some disappointment that Karen faced her daughter for it would have been so much easier if Kasiutrella had not wondered out of her slumber, which to a large extent put out of commission her plan to say that theirs would be but a solution to being uncomfortable or unable to sleep next to her father who in fact did snore.
Kasiutrella, at that moment changed her mood, almost as if taking on another line in this argument or tactics; in this what to a certain degree had become a battle for the truth between herself and her mother. Kasiutrella could see hers would not be to get more replies as to what had transpired other then what had clearly been a fight, which had lead to something smashed and someone hit; though this she would not be told whom other then both participants were for the most part unharmed. It also being that she could see the point that it was not a factor what had been since consequences were not of major concern but what would be because of it that Kasiutrella asked “Ok, you and dad had a fight but it is not the first time but why have you chosen to come and sleep in my room and how long will you be staying?” with not so much of the desire that her mother leave or not stay with her long as much as concern that what had been would have consequences beyond the usually married couple quarrel.
Karen could see as her eyes adopted to the light that Kasiutrella was fully awake and theirs had become a discussion, which she could no longer put off with simple answers or vague statements, the kind she would have given her daughter many years before. She could also tell that her daughter was not in the least upset at the prospective of sharing a room with her for the night or any amount of time but in fact needed to know what would be of her parent’s marriage which she could tell had definitely been shaking, or such this action by her mother indicated. This being more so since to the best of her knowing her parents had never slept in different beds or at least not on any night which they spend in the same house.
Karen could see her daughter’s concern and to a large extent even appreciated her in the admiration she had gained for her that night as her daughter had taken on a perhaps not new maturity but degree of care which she in reality never supposed her to have yet in all she was tired and wished to end theirs or at least till the following day. Karen seeing theirs might become a long drawn out affair and not wishing to end it rudely simply said “Your father and I have chosen or one of us has though don’t ask me which one to spend a few nights perhaps away from each other to give each other some breathing space and see what happens, I am grateful you care but there is not more I can tell you as right now I don’t know more to tell you myself about what will be”.
Kasiutrella understood theirs to be something of a feud yet there was that which she could not place or have any understanding for at that age not so much due to her lack of this facility in her mind but experience in what couples past a certain age go through specially when sex is no longer carried out in bed. In fact she was satisfied she had done what she could for her mother and seeing no more conclusions to be reached for the evening she simply said “Well stay as long as you want and I am glad to have you here, thanks for staying with me and not going down to the sofa” with a twist of irony in her voice. Karen for the first time that evening was able to see some humor in all her and her daughter discussed and though she realized she would have to confirm more in her daughter then she perhaps was ready to; felt at peace with at least her choice to have come to Kasiutrella’s room, whom she had clearly taken out of the stride of what other wise would have been her time of rest.
It then feeling again as if this was her daughter, whom she would need to protect which prompted her to get out of her bed; to make sure her daughter was tucked away, as it had once been her duty to do so. Karen stood up and as she did she could see her daughter’s eyes; who had already layed back in bed looking at her as if wanting to reassure her all was as it should. Karen however for her own saw in Kasiutrella at that moment the one whom she should see off to sleep in spite of all she knew her to be capable of in her reason of caring back for her mother, who did likewise. Karen had a smile about her as she went over to kiss her daughter good night that even took to Kasiutrella; who replied with her eyes of warmth which strangely enough Karen could see with great power not only to pass on warmth, as she was doing at present but impress upon many a man, both young and even not so.
Karen would tuck her daughter in bed, and place a kiss on her forehead to let her see that she too like Kasiutrella needed the protection which she had tried to provide her that night by inquiring in to what had been. Kasiutrella, that night saw her mother in a new light as one who did not have the answers to all that was but at least did not fear to let it out that such it was and she approached her bed with intensions clear it was her to surprise her mother. This coming in the form of opening the bed sheets for her mother to get in with her so they might share the sort of intimacy they once had, so many years before.
Karen perhaps on another night would have simply kissed her daughter good night and walked away with a smirk at her intensions but it was one time when she felt the need for somebody, who could hold her if only for the purpose of passing on that care that can only be obtained through that contact which women are so capable of passing on. Karen could see her daughter was about to say that perhaps on this night it would be nice to share a bed yet before her words could come about Karen much to her own surprise got in bed with her daughter; who simply refrained from commenting as she moved over.
Karen got in bed with her daughter as she had done on many a night in the past, when her daughter had asked her to sleep with her usually after a nightmare or bad experience which Kasiutrella had had. It in many ways felt different since this time it was Karen who had gone through one of those moments that needed attention though in fact it was of so little concern; for in what had become their relationship it was almost the one who consoled who required the other with the same intensity. Karen could see her daughter reaching out, as if needing to make it clear that she could rely on her just as she had once been able to and still did so much on her mother, who at that moment to a certain extent felt like a child getting in to bed with her own mother.
That night Karen and Kasiutrella slept almost in each other’s arms; as if both reassuring the other that come what might or go down what should, if one thing be a permanent fixture as the star to the north it be their love for the other as mother and daughter. This above all for stronger bond was not to be had. It being the case though this would be put to a test in a way neither would have ever thought possible at the time.